Does Anybody Here Know How To French Kiss
by blackfire93
Summary: I was alone with three sulking, cold and pouting handsome men and I was BORED. Then an idea struck me and I laid out my bait. Will they take it? Will they cave and will I get my answer from ALL THREE of them? Read and review... P.S. Where do you think the rocks come from? (read the story to understand the question.) lol


**DOES ANYBODY HERE KNOW HOW TO FRENCH KISS?**

**Written by blackfire93**

**All of the character do not belong to me except my own OC character of course. This is something I thought up while waiting for sleep to finally come so it might be a little…different. Anyways I hope you enjoy this and review. Thanks!**

I sighed, and watched a bee fly over my head, I was bored. B-O-R-E-D! Inu-yasha and Kagome had gotten into a fight so he was in a tree sulking and she was back in our time probably complaining to her three best friends about him. Sango had caught Miroku flirting with several village girls and snapped, she didn't even holler at him, she just called for Kirara and flew away. Probably taking her anger out on any poor fool who gets in her way, Shippo was away at a fox school he had just recently found out about, Rin was asleep nearby in a field of flowers Ah-Un was sleeping next to her and Jaken was taking a dirt-nap curtousy of Shesshomaru the ever Ice Cold demon with a cactus up his butt, who was currently leaning against a tree ignoring the world. Miroku was sitting in the shade 'meditating' while pouting about Sango's absence. Naraku had attacked three days ago and we had given him a pretty bad beating so he wouldn't be showing his face for a while. Koga had managed to get on Shesshomaru's bad side so he wouldn't be coming by. _"Ugh! Im sooo BORED!"_ I mentally screamed as I rolled over onto my stomach. I pursed my lips as I eyed the three men in our little group. _"Hmm I wonder who would be the better kisser?"_ I thought before letting out another sigh when an idea struck. I started to cackle mentally as I thought out my plan.

"Does anybody here know how to do the French kiss?" I asked innocently (while mentally cackling so evilly that Naraku several hundred miles away felt a chill run down his spine.) I made sure to ask it loud enough that all three guys could hear me. Miroku took the bait, "What is the French kiss?" He asked curiously giving up on the pretense of meditating. I sat up and pretended to be amazed, "You DON't know what the French kiss is?" I asked in surprise making sure to lace it through my voice and ooze it out my pours. I knew I caught the other two's slight interest and laid out some more bait. "The French kiss is ONLY the most POWERFUL attack out there, guaranteed to leave men and WOMAN with their mouths opened and unable to say a word." I said while inwardly sniggering at how much truth was in my words. Then I laid back and waited I knew Miroku would be the first to crack, then Inu-yasha and finally Shesshomaru. _"Oh this is gonna be good!" _I thought.

Sure enough Miroku caved first. "Would you teach me this French kiss attack?" Miroku asked me. I pretended to think about that deeply before nodding and standing up. "Okay I will teach it to you but we are going to have to go somewhere else. It is a VERY powerful attack and I don't want Naraku or his underlings to see it and use it against us." I stated. I knew without a doubt that me straining the word 'very' had caused a set of puppy dog ears to prick up and swivel in my direction. Miroku nodded and stood up as well, I led him out of the campsite, making sure to contain my glee. _"One down two to go." _I thought triumphantly as I walked away.

**SEVERAL MINUTE LATER**

I calmly walked back into our campsite, alone. Just in time to see Kirara land and Sango get off her back. _"Perfect."_ I thought before innocently sitting down and picking up a flower while I saying. "Welcome back Sango." She nodded at me and although she tried to hide it, I saw her glance around the campsite looking for a certain perverted monk. _"This is too easy."_ I thought before fidgeting gaining a look from the demon slayer. "Um… if you're looking for Miroku he's probably going to be a little while…" I trailed off and she growled, "I'm NOT looking for that perverted lecher!" She declared. "Oh good." I said in relief causing her to raise a curious eye-brow in my direction. I shrugged, "It's just that I saw Miroku down by the abandoned cabin and he seemed to be waiting for someone…" Sango's eyebrow twitched and she turned and headed in the direction of the abandoned cabin.

I begin to silently count, _"One Mississippi, two Mississippi,"_ "MIROKU!" We all heard Sango holler. _"Three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five Mississippi..."_ There was a strange silence which had the two male's looking in my direction curiously. " He must have used the French kiss attack." I said by way of explanation to why the loud PERVERT and THUD hadn't been heard.

I made three flower crowns in the amount of time it took for curiosity to take over Inu-yasha's sulking and he jumped down from the tree and sat across from me. His arms crossed and a scowl on his face only his eye's betrayed him, I waited…_ "Five….four….three….two….one …and BINGO."_ I thought as Inu-yasha spoke, "Keh! So this French kiss attack is enough to impress Sango not to hit Miroku. Will it work with…anyone else." The slight blush on Inu-yasha's face spoke volumes but I didn't tease him knowing if I did he would get defensive and drop it. "Why don't I show you the French kiss attack and you can try it out for yourself?" I asked. I let Inu-yasha stew on that for a couple of minutes before he grudgingly agreed. "Fine show me! I bet I can do it better then that perverted monk!" Inu-yasha declared. _"Well we will see Inu-yasha." _I thought inwardly grinning but outwardly I just nodded and calmly stood up. "Okay. Let's go find a place where I can show you it." I said while quickly and secretly sending a text message, surprisingly our cell-phones did work in the Feudal Era but they only let us send text messages and only if one phone was in the Modern Era. I could fill a pair of cold amber eye's following me and Inu-yasha as we walked away.

**SEVERAL MINUTES LATER**

I walked back into the campsite and sat down. I had the timing just right as Kagome appeared over a small hill on her bike. "Hey Kags !" I said waving. "Yasha needs to talk to you something about more Ramen and how Kik…I mean someone else was never late. He's on his way to the well. If you hurry you'll probably catch him there." I said. Kagome's face had turned an interesting shade of red and her eye's were filled with fury as she turned her bike around and begin to petal for all she was worth. I lay back on the soft grass counting mentally, _"One Mississippi, two Mississippi…"_ Kagome's holler of 'INU-YASHA!' could probably be heard half-way around the world but held back a smirk and continued counting, _"Three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five Mississippi…"_ Nothing but silence. No loud, "SIT BOY!" or "THUDS" just peaceful silence. I could practically fill Shesshomaru glaring at me as he tried to figure out what kind of powerful attack could stop Sango from punishing the monk and Kagome from punishing Inu-yasha when he knew from the short three months of traveling with us that these things went hand in hand.

I begin to count down I knew he would break sooner or later, however his pride and arrogance would make him hold out for a while. _"Oh well. It's not like I have to worry about Miroku, Sango, Inu-yasha or Kagome coming back for a while, and Shippo said he wouldn't be back for a week, and Rin needs all the sleep she can get since we have been so busy traveling these past couple of days. Hopefully Jaken stays knocked out long enough." _I thought sourly. "_The little imp could ruin a good thing before it even happened. I mean sure kissing Miroku and Inu-yasha had been…very pleasant on both sides but they weren't the one I had somehow managed to fall in love with." _At this thought my eye's went to the place Shesshomaru had been resting, and clashed with the amber eye's that were staring at me intensely. "If this French kiss attack is so powerful why have you not used it on Naraku before?" Shesshomaru said his voice emotionless but just like his brother his eye's betrayed him. I didn't tense up having anticipated such a question I laid out my final bait, "I am not powerful enough to make the attack have the effect that it could have." I said.

I was mentally dying of laughter as Shesshomaru fell into my trap and made me have the most hilarious mental image ever as he spoke, "I am powerful enough. Show this Shesshomaru the French kiss attack and I will use it to defeat Naraku." Shesshomaru said. I bit my lip to keep a lid on my emotions and took several deep breaths to get rid of the hysterical laughter that wanted to erupt from me. Finally slightly calm I stood up and walked over to him before kneeling down to be face to face with him. "Is there anyone else around?" I asked and waited while he sniffed the air. "No." He said. I nodded, "Okay now make sure you do everything I do." I said. He raised an eyebrow at me before replying. "Hn."

**SEVERAL MINUTES LATER**

A groggy Jaken woke up, _"Why Lord Shesshomaru? Why do you hurt your faithful servant?"_ Jaken whimpered mentally before turning in the direction of where he had last seen his Master who was currently very busy kissing the strange female from the half-demons human wrench's time. Jaken exploded, "LORD SHESSHOMARU I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THAT FOUL WREACH!" Jaken screamed out his loud voice reaching a new pitch as he started running in his Masters direction only to be beaned by two mysterious rocks that appeared out of no-where, causing him to take a very long dirt-nap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~C~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I pulled back causing Shesshomaru to growl sofly at me, "Still plan on using this to defeat Naraku?" I asked giggling as for what I am sure was the first time ever in Shesshomaru's life he blushed fire red and embarrassedly replied, "NO!" Before he heatedly reclaimed my lips, in a very passionate attack.

**The end!**

**I hope you all enjoyed this and had a laugh! Review please.**


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